Single’s biggest regret in life for people is not having the courage to live a life true to themselves, rather than the life that others expect from them. Because of the intention of pleasing everyone, having self – image has forgotten. A self – image has a great part in your journey to achieving what you want.
I want to share with you an idea that recently has become of utmost importance to me. An idea that according to Dr. Maxwell Maltz, is the greatest psychological discovery of this generation is self – image.
What is Self-Image?
We all have an image of ourselves. We may see our reflection in the mirror, but that is only our physical identity. Your self-image is all about the mental image or the concept you have about yourself. That image or concept sometimes comes from personal experiences, perceived judgments, failures, success, feelings and so on. The image is always dependent upon perspective. Without an objective standard by which to measure yourselves, your self-image will be blurred.
Currently, you may be seeking significance, love, a sense of meaning, purpose, and success in your career, business or success in a relationship. The most important thing you can do at the moment is to create an ideal self – image based on truth and based on your dream or goals. A positive self-image can boost your physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Here’s why a positive self – image is important :
1. You don’t need anyone’s approval.
It is a shortcut to finding fulfillment, love, and joy in your life. You tend to seek these emotions from other people like having a significant other, material success and experiences. You generally seek it because you haven’t accepted or loved yourselves for who you are. You don’t need to be perfect for you to love yourself you are still a work in progress. As you embody this self – image everything you do in life will be infused with love and joy. So, rather than trying or expecting of getting approval from people, encourage or help them boost their self – image.
2. You are more determined.
Your self – image not only gives you the emotions you seek on the outside, but it also increases your chances or abilities to achieve your goals in every area of your life. Your self-image is the thermometer for your life and your success. Adopt an image that is worthy of your goal in pursuing it. When you have a high self – image, you believe in your ability. Therefore you are more determined to succeed. You know you will have to work harder and more committed because you believe you can do it.
3. You don’t feel the need to be perfect.
Most of the time you don’t take action because you don’t feel worthy of having it. For example, if you have an image of yourself that only allows you to make a certain amount of money then when you reach a higher amount you will become uncomfortable because it doesn’t fit your self – image in mind. The same goes for losing weight, If you are an overweight person, you will be thinking any weight loss will only be temporary. If you wait for perfection before you take action, you will never start. Strive to be the best version of yourself.
And there you have it, the shortcut to feeling loved, significance, fulfillment and increasing your limits of success is your self – image. How do you do it? Through meditation, affirmations, and visualization, picturing yourself and your life exactly as you want it to be. It takes discipline.
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Are there deep emotions that you not aware of that are ruling your life? For example resentment, scarcity, fear, traumas, shame and so on, that you’re confidence and self-esteem is affected because of those emotions? You may have spent a lot of time and money just to get rid of these. Perhaps you are even doing affirmations and positive thinking and are wondering why it isn’t still working. The reason why is because although you are shifting your surface-level mindset, emotions, and beliefs, you are missing shifting the tectonic plates of your mind, the parts that carry your traumas and deep-seated emotions.
In the video below, I want to go over some of the top emotions to let go to conquer core self – confidence and self – esteem. This will shift not only how you feel, but raise your vibration, hence shifting how people and situations react to you. As you make it a daily practice for 30 or more days everyday surface level emotions won’t bother you as much.
Here are 7 things to let go of to build Confidence and Self – Esteem :
1. Let go of fear.
Fear can hold you back in living the life of your dreams. Fear feels uncomfortable, you are robbing yourself of the chance to experience the deep satisfaction which comes with listening to your heart and soul and creating a better life full of passion and purpose. Conquering this will enable you to face all other fears with another perspective and confidence.
2. Let go of guilt.
Release any guilt or self-hate you currently have. Many times you act out of not knowing the consequences of your actions or sometimes you act based on your current emotion which sometimes leads you to have regrets or guilt of the outcome. Forgive yourself for the things you have done to yourself and others. You can’t go back and change the past but you can change your future by not committing the same offense over and over again.
3. Let go of shame.
A part of the experience of shame is the fear of being found out and exposed. You want to run and hide and protect yourselves from exposure to other people’s judgment. Let go of any shame, insecurity you may have physically or about your personality, the shame of being not stable financially, shame of how you present yourself socially and so on. Anytime shame surfaces, there is an opportunity to experience a healing of the experiences and beliefs that have fed the shame.
4. Let go of loneliness and grief.
At times in your life, have you felt that you were all alone? This feeling describes the emotion of loneliness. Other words people use to describe loneliness include feeling empty, isolated, excluded or left out. You can feel lonely when you are physically alone and you can also feel it in the presence of others. Grief is the feeling of loss many times. When you are at your peak on this emotion, realize or think the abundance of love you have in your life at the moment and let go of any feeling of emptiness, loss, and regrets on the people that are no longer in your life because of a failed relationship. Accept and treasure the moments you spent together and appreciate the space that has opened up for new love to show up.
5. Let go of self-deception.
Self-Deception is rooted in your thinking, and visible in your activities. If you look at it in reverse what you do, or how you act is, in reality, is a product of your belief. If you have been deceived and are thinking wrong as a result of that deception, then you need to adjust, reset, and refocus areas of your thinking that have been subjected to deception. Replacing them with truth, and ultimately seeing the conformation in your actions. Embrace your truth on who you are and what you care about. Clear your inner vision through meditation and let go of the illusion that is in your thoughts. This will essentially boost your confidence as you realize your oneness with all, you have nothing to fear.
6. Let go of resentment.
This is something you need to do for your peace of mind and to improve your relationship with others. Don’t get stuck blaming others for your unhappiness. Even when others have done wrong, you’re called upon to examine your hearts and to respond to others in love. Any hate you have towards others will cripple your self-confidence. Forgive others it is the best gift you can give to yourself because when you forgive you are freeing yourself to not allow anyone or anything from the past to bind you in your current actions. Hurt people hurt others so, begin to develop empathy for them to heal that resentment.
7. Let go of desire and attachment.
The less emotionally attached you are to the outcome the more carefree and confident you will be. Learning how to move past the things that hold you back is an important step in reclaiming the life that has been designed just for you. What happened in the past doesn’t have to define who you are today.
Learning how to believe in yourself will open up endless possibilities in your life. At times you may find this difficult to do. The truth is that we’ve been conditioned throughout our lives to doubt ourselves. We must retrain ourselves to get rid of our fears and self-doubt to build self – confidence and self – esteem.
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Going through a spiritual awakening is the most isolating, loneliest, confusing, bothering but a beautiful experience in life. Without experiencing a spiritual awakening, you go pursuing things with emptiness which you thought you will find happiness and satisfaction on it. Spiritual awakening happens at the least expected time. You can’t plan it. It rolls and shakes your life. But the outcome or purpose of it comes at the time you most needed it.
Spiritual awakening happens after realization or seeing the actual meaning of life. It is the natural product of one’s maturity. Just like other things in life grows, so too your connection to your souls. It’s similar to maturing from youthful years to adulthood with growing pains, sadness, and new discoveries.
The following are some tips to help you recognize the various emotions you may be experiencing:
1. You question everything in life.
You will start to look into what you’ve been taught from your childhood to believe. During this time you begin also questioning yourself why are you here on earth? What’s your purpose? Why are you not still successful in your goal? This can feel isolating but be ready for your questions as you investigate, research and fall into your truth.
2. You lose interest in material things.
You become aware and prioritizes your needs more than your wants. What matters to you now are the things that last for a lifetime. You desire for inner joy and spending more time on people that are important to you like your family, close friends, spiritual family, etc. You’re learning to live each day with gratitude.
3. You feel compassionate.
You have that feeling of empathy or sympathy towards a person in need. You put other people’s needs above yours. You tend to listen first before speaking because you make sure that you are aware of how you sound, convey the message, and the impact of your words will cause. Everything you do in life is linked through a cause and effect system. By doing good to others you receive positivity and contentment.
4. You have Increased Inner Peace.
You don’t mind being alone. You feel comfortable going to the mall alone doing some shopping, eating alone, traveling and even watching a movie alone. You are happy and secure being alone. You have that calm and peaceful joy, an experience that everything is alright because you know whom to put your trust.
Spiritual awakening creates a no turning back point in your lives. There’s no way to return to the old you. Thoughts are more clear and the mind has opened on true awareness. Doubts, worries, problems that are occupying in mind are gone. Despite experiencing emotions, you are not affected by them anymore since you are already filled with love, kindness, and compassion for all humanity. You’re ready for new opportunities to meditate on with a peaceful heart.
Each of you has your own goals and dreams that you want to achieve and confidence has a great part in living without limits to become the person you want to be. Confidence is a conviction or a mindset that helps in managing family, work, social events, relationships, etc. It can be the difference between those who may fail or not try because they lack it, and those that have it who may succeed because of it regardless of their skills.
Having low confidence makes you demotivated to push on the things that need to be done because you are doubting yourself if you can do it. Your mind is battling with questions and doubt of whether you have the skills or not. Will I make it to the end? Is this the right choice or decision? Without confidence, goals, and dreams are not likely to be met.
Becoming your best requires determination, courage, and confidence in yourself. If you continue your journey of becoming the person you want to be, success is possible. Be motivated and take action because action brings results. Get out of your comfort zone, challenge yourself to still do things you are afraid of.
Recently Social Buddha Education hosted a Live LIMITLESS Seminar focused around confidence and courage. Guests learned to hack their mindset, create inner transformation and become limitless.
This seminar taught attendees to live a limitless life that not only makes them more effective but creates prosperity in every area of their life. They learned how to better achieve a state of alignment in whatever area of life their life they were focusing on. Check out the video below for a behind scenes look of the seminar and keep reading below for more tips on building confidence.
How to become the person you want to be :
1. Know your purpose.
Knowing your purpose is very important because it is your guide to accomplishing your goals and actions to be taken. Finding your purpose will make your experience having joy, peace, and fulfillment because you are happy and enjoying what you are doing. Explore the things you love to do and develop it. Check out Zen Habits’ article on confidence and pursuing your goals below.
As you fulfill or work on your goals, you will encounter challenges on the way. Challenging circumstancesare there to produce the person you want to become. It is not there to put you down but for you to learn, persevere and be prepared in accepting the blessing in the future out of all your hard work. Believe that something good is going to happen even in times of challenging situations. After you passed all that you’ve been through or when you are at the point wherein you are already living in your dream, looking back you will realize all that happened has a reason because it made you who you are at the moment.
3. Change the way you think.
Assess your thoughts on what direction is it leading you. Remove unhealthy thoughts and replace them with what is true, lovely, excellent and confidence in yourself. Be careful of what you feed in your mind because it is who you will become. If you improve the way you think, your whole life will improve too because your thoughts lead your attitudes and actions and shape who you are as a person. Our actions are a manifestation of our thoughts.
You are created with specific skills and capabilities. Don’t give up on yourself even if you failed before, go through past regrets or wrong decisions in the past. There are always second chances. Get up and focus again on knowing your purpose than work hard for it.
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What is loneliness? Loneliness is the unhappiness that is felt by someone, or unpleasant emotional response to isolation. There is research that says, those who spend the most time on social media have a higher rate of loneliness or depression compared to those who spent the least time. Because of what you see on social media you tend to mirror it or make it as the standard of the life that you should have which moves you to ignore and not realizing the true treasure which is love that you already have from your family, friends, etc.
A recent study by YouGov reveals that men are much more likely to lead a more solitary life than women, with fewer friends they call close or best friends. Part of this has to do with facing their vulnerability alone. A drink at a bar for example for men with friends likely won’t lead to a heart to heart conversation. Being competitive is okay but don’t compare your achievements because it creates a barrier in connecting to others, know that each one of you has the right time in achieving your goals.
Another aspect that causes loneliness is that you are not in the habit of recognizing the love you already have in your lives. As they say, you don’t know what you already have until you lose it, why? because your mind rules your lives and you don’t notice the connections you share with those closest to you, connections you need to appreciate. That includes the love from your kids, your parents, siblings, friends, co-workers and so on. Even when you are in a relationship, sometimes you still feel lonely because you forgot to appreciate the blessing that you have or you’re still trying to find something better. Make it a habit to notice and appreciate the affection that is already there that you tend to overlook.
Consider these suggestions to overcome loneliness :
1. Learn to let go of past hurts.
When you feel lonely, it’s because a memory has triggered that feeling. It may be your pain in the past that is unhealed. Prefer to let go about the past and something that cannot be changed. Making that decision of letting it go also means that you are accepting the choice to let it go. This is empowering knowing that it is your choice to hold on to the pain or to have a future life without it.
2. Make gratitude a constant practice.
This is a powerful emotion that can make your life better in so many ways. It is difficult to be lonely when you are full of gratitude. Just like material abundance, not only you will feel loved when you are grateful for people, but that’s also the way you can attract the right things into your life. Let gratitude be a part of your every day.
3. Connect in real life.
Connecting in real life may not be the norm nowadays. With social media, Netflix, or our phones taking a lot of your time and attention makes you physically disconnected to others. Engaging in face-to-face social interaction helps improve our mood and reduces feelings of loneliness. Limit yourself from social media and prioritize in-person interaction and connection.
4. Reach out for support.
Be courageous and open up to those closest to you. Getting support gives you a different outlook that can help you put things in their rightful place. When you decided to reach out for support, be honest even if it’s uncomfortable to express how you’re feeling.
Every time you feel lonely, remember that you are not alone and that somebody there are most willing to talk and listen to you. Life is short to be consumed on suffering from loneliness. Heal the wounds caused by your past. Learn to love and accept yourself. Think of your blessings and the people who truly care for you.
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