Have you ever wished that you could to talk to strangers or simply have a great conversation on a date? I’m going to reveal my ultimate two secrets for being an amazing conversationalist. My two secrets are being a great interviewer and the art of banter.
1. MAKE THE CONVERSATION ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON.
The way to do this is to stop multitasking, BE PRESENT and listen with the intent to understand.
How do can you get motivated to engage people in a conversation? Realize that I’m about to learn a lot and understand that they probably know something you don’t or might give me great insight into something you’ve been looking for. Be curious about people, who they are, and what they know.
I used run wine tours and would spend 4-6 hours with people “tasting” quite a bit of wine. Let me tell you by the end of the tour I would come out fascinated because first many times they were very different from my initial impression of them and second by their knowledge and experiences. It was like reading a book times 10. Everyone has so much gold to share…all you have to do is have curiosity and listen.
Ask Questions and genuinely be interested. I’m sure you’ve been with someone that seemed boring etc. Most of the time it’s because the person is only talking about something THEY are interested in, about themselves, OR they just simply didn’t take the time to understand you first.
DON’T DO THAT. First, listen to be listened to. Remember, everyone’s favorite topic is themselves and well, their favorite topics. If anything, I’ll be giving a few tips on how to direct a conversation into something you are both interested in. And towards the end, I will be sharing some banter, and tips on being more witty, so that it doesn’t become a boring conversation of deep/serious topics.
A fun conversation has depth, insight, and humor…and in my opinion sexy banter. At the end of this video, I talk about how to have sexy banter….as well as how everything ties together into a work of art, ALMOST 😉
2. MOVE THE CONVERSATION TO A DEEPER LEVEL.
Use open-ended questions and talk about topics you are passionate about. For example, I’m into Lucid Dreaming, soccer, travel, etc., very passionate about it. So, if I see that they are genuinely interested in any of that I will go deep into that topic and connect through that, plus it will just be more fun than the typical small talk. So, know who you are and what you’re about and drive the conversation to that to see if you find commonalities in your passions.
Test for your values and what you are looking for. If you are just casually dating this might not be as important, but if you’re looking for something more, then test for your criteria. For example, for me I love a woman who is kind, humorous (sometimes it’s hard to find), driven and interested in personal development and travel.
So if they’re job, passions or what they talk about points to that then I’ll be more interested.
*Go with the flow. Let go of the need to say something or being distracted by a topic you wanted to talk about so you stop listening. Maybe you think of a clever question, comment or story…let it go and just go with the flow.
3. HAVE A CONFIDENT MINDSET.
Feel like you are the most interesting, and sexiest person ever. That is what will communicate in your energy, eyes and body language. Assume they will love you. Meet up just to have fun and be genuinely interested in learning about that person that is in front of you.
Learn more about creating confidence with our free confidence course HERE or check out an article on how to build your confidence after hitting rock bottom.
4. LEARN HOW TO FLIRT AND BANTER.
Sexy Banter & Sparking Attraction: Sprinkle this element don’t pour it on.
Playfully antagonize the person you are with. For example, you might tell them they have something on their face and make them clean it up. This is done with a solid face until you break it and let them know you’re joking. Things like that.
Double entendre or setting a sexual funny undertone.
This is all about delivery, finesse and practice. Notice words such as. Also, it’s about playfully accusing the other person that they are being a bit sexually mischievous.
Words you can misinterpret could be:
Dirty (sexual)
Slowly, quick or Fast (thrusting speed or length of sex)
Suck (blow job or cunnilingus)
Blow (blow job or cunnilingus)
Do it (sex)
Put it somewhere (sex or penetration)
Anything that can be misinterpreted I often ask: “Is that code?”
Meaning code for something sexual.
In a funny suspicious way.
Have a funny answer to all the common questions.
What do you do?
Where are you from?
Etc.
Again, no need to overdo the sexy humor, but sprinkle it in. Also, you must not be looking for any type of response when it comes to this. When I banter in this way…many times I don’t even look at the person, I deliver the joke…Part of being witty and having great banter is using call-back humor…as you start saying jokes begin connecting them.
Move back and forth between funny, sexy and tension building banter to more serious questions and building a connection. If it’s too serious and nice then the attraction can be lost. If it’s too joky and tension driven then the other person may feel they don’t feel a connection or know you. Think push/pull or like a dance.
Conversation is an art that can be mastered. WHAT IS THE FASTEST WAY? Get the right mindset going on in your head and on your jokes, questions and body language will be aligned. Check out my free course on how to create the right mindset and boosting your confidence.
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