Let’s make moving on easy and simple…
Are You Broken Hearted? Don’t worry, It is normal and it’s not your fault. A breakup or being brokenhearted is a part of a relationship with someone. We feel devastated, anxious and depressed. People around the globe are suffering from this all the time. It is common and you are not alone with this burden.
You will certainly experience pain and jealousy. The kind of pain when we get obsessed with someone you love focusing on all the good memories and denying any of their faults. Fixing a broken heart is essential to move on to another relationship or dating in a healthy way.
These four 4 methods will explain how to heal yourself and learn to alleviate the pain. It will give you the opportunity to be with others and not carry that pain onto the next person or manifest the same heartbreaks over and over.
Step 1. Overcome Breakup and a Heartbreak by Giving Yourself the Opportunity to Grow.
Often times we want to distract ourselves in order to move on and prevent thinking about this person you’ve been with. Although, it’s not healthy to obsess it’s better to learn how to digest your emotions rather than distract yourself with drinking, food, TV, sex or things that don’t really deal with the root cause.
How can you use this experience to grow?
Analyze your thoughts and breakdown the “cocktail” of emotions, and thought patterns to end the cycle.
One of the origins of this pain is your mind thoughts. Having negative thoughts like regrets, guilt, idealization of this person, and denial are the massive barriers to move on and heal.
Felipe, the founder of Social Buddha Method and our main confidence coach mentions how the emotional roller coaster and over-analysis of a breakup are comparable to drugs. They can be addictive and they can cause adverse effects and create negative habits. It can lead also in being obsessed with someone as if will never find another one like this person. You’ll be filled with regret thinking that you could have done something better to remain in your relationship.
There are two ways to breakdown these emotions and thoughts to heal.
Rewrite your idealized thoughts about this person.
Write down everything you are idealizing about this person. On the other side of this piece of paper or another one, write down why they might have not been the best partner for you. Write down all the things that bothered you about them. Since we tend to idealize people we overlook that. This will help you move on, especially if you tear up the idealized list and review the list of what bothered you about them on a regular basis until you feel better.
Talk with your friends about your breakup and also, rewrite your whole story about it.
Talk to someone you trust about what you’re going through and write down what you are telling yourself in its entirety. For an instance, some common thoughts may be lack self-worth, feeling like you did something wrong or there is something wrong with you, jealousy, thinking that they have another partner now, feeling betrayed and so common emotions will likely be anger, self-pity, grief, and loneliness.
Then similar to the exercise above, rewrite that story to tell yourself the opposite of what you wrote. Then tear up the previous story you are telling yourself. All in all, you are changing your thoughts into positive affirmations to motivate yourself so feel free to exaggerate the positive affirmations and then repeat them in front of the mirror daily for at least 30 days or until you feel confident. As you do this everything will become more clear and the healing will happen, FOR GOOD. It will be permanent and will affect how you deal with a breakup or a relationship in the future.
Step 2. Learning How to Rebuild Your Life is Important to Overcome Heartbreak
Many times in a relationship we tend to lose ourselves, our identity for someone else, and at some point, we may sacrifice our personal life. Start by hanging out with friends and making new ones, especially if you shared friends in your relationship. Make shifts in your life, in general,by finding some interesting things to do which you may enjoy and obtain your happiness from them.
Step 3. Redirecting your focus to yourself.
This is when the magic happens in the process of healing and transformation. Build an empowering your routine that may include meditation, affirmations, gratitude and other healing methods. Check out my article and video on healing HERE.
Create a healthy lifestyle like exercising, a good diet and picking up new hobbies. Redirecting focus on yourself is also all about to forget your bad habits and replace them with empowering healthy ones.
Step 4 Cut all the ties with this person that Cause of Heartbreak
It will be harder to heal yourself if you are continuing to chat with your ex and visiting their social media. This will many times obstruct the healing process your breakup.
Let Go of Hope
Hope is very dangerous. In fact, it is the most addictive ingredient of this emotional “drug”. It will cause a person to delay healing keeping someone stuck for even years. So, move on.
Overcoming a heartbreak or a breakup will not only affect your dating and romantic life, but that level of healing will improve your life in general. It will make you feel more wholesome.