Is Denver really the worst city for dating and finding love? Colorado may be beautiful, but some say it sucks for dating and finding love.
According to the great love debate in Denver, men are too passive, have low confidence, style, communication, and enthusiasm. I decided to interview strangers on their experience of dating and socializing in Denver!
Check out the video below to see the interviews and a bit about the show. To find out more about The Great love Debate show and podcast check out their site below: https://www.greatlovedebate.com
Wish to improve your confidence? Click on the link below to find out more about the course.
Have you ever wished that you could to talk to strangers or simply have a great conversation on a date? I’m going to reveal my ultimate two secrets for being an amazing conversationalist. My two secrets are being a great interviewer and the art of banter.
1. MAKE THE CONVERSATION ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON.
The way to do this is to stop multitasking, BE PRESENT and listen with the intent to understand.
How do can you get motivated to engage people in a conversation? Realize that I’m about to learn a lot and understand that they probably know something you don’t or might give me great insight into something you’ve been looking for. Be curious about people, who they are, and what they know.
I used run wine tours and would spend 4-6 hours with people “tasting” quite a bit of wine. Let me tell you by the end of the tour I would come out fascinated because first many times they were very different from my initial impression of them and second by their knowledge and experiences. It was like reading a book times 10. Everyone has so much gold to share…all you have to do is have curiosity and listen.
Ask Questions and genuinely be interested. I’m sure you’ve been with someone that seemed boring etc. Most of the time it’s because the person is only talking about something THEY are interested in, about themselves, OR they just simply didn’t take the time to understand you first.
DON’T DO THAT. First, listen to be listened to. Remember, everyone’s favorite topic is themselves and well, their favorite topics. If anything, I’ll be giving a few tips on how to direct a conversation into something you are both interested in. And towards the end, I will be sharing some banter, and tips on being more witty, so that it doesn’t become a boring conversation of deep/serious topics.
A fun conversation has depth, insight, and humor…and in my opinion sexy banter. At the end of this video, I talk about how to have sexy banter….as well as how everything ties together into a work of art, ALMOST 😉
2. MOVE THE CONVERSATION TO A DEEPER LEVEL.
Use open-ended questions and talk about topics you are passionate about. For example, I’m into Lucid Dreaming, soccer, travel, etc., very passionate about it. So, if I see that they are genuinely interested in any of that I will go deep into that topic and connect through that, plus it will just be more fun than the typical small talk. So, know who you are and what you’re about and drive the conversation to that to see if you find commonalities in your passions.
Test for your values and what you are looking for. If you are just casually dating this might not be as important, but if you’re looking for something more, then test for your criteria. For example, for me I love a woman who is kind, humorous (sometimes it’s hard to find), driven and interested in personal development and travel.
So if they’re job, passions or what they talk about points to that then I’ll be more interested.
*Go with the flow. Let go of the need to say something or being distracted by a topic you wanted to talk about so you stop listening. Maybe you think of a clever question, comment or story…let it go and just go with the flow.
3. HAVE A CONFIDENT MINDSET.
Feel like you are the most interesting, and sexiest person ever. That is what will communicate in your energy, eyes and body language. Assume they will love you. Meet up just to have fun and be genuinely interested in learning about that person that is in front of you.
Sexy Banter & Sparking Attraction: Sprinkle this element don’t pour it on.
Playfully antagonize the person you are with. For example, you might tell them they have something on their face and make them clean it up. This is done with a solid face until you break it and let them know you’re joking. Things like that.
Double entendre or setting a sexual funny undertone.
This is all about delivery, finesse and practice. Notice words such as. Also, it’s about playfully accusing the other person that they are being a bit sexually mischievous.
Words you can misinterpret could be:
Dirty (sexual)
Slowly, quick or Fast (thrusting speed or length of sex)
Suck (blow job or cunnilingus)
Blow (blow job or cunnilingus)
Do it (sex)
Put it somewhere (sex or penetration)
Anything that can be misinterpreted I often ask: “Is that code?”
Meaning code for something sexual.
In a funny suspicious way.
Have a funny answer to all the common questions.
What do you do?
Where are you from?
Etc.
Again, no need to overdo the sexy humor, but sprinkle it in. Also, you must not be looking for any type of response when it comes to this. When I banter in this way…many times I don’t even look at the person, I deliver the joke…Part of being witty and having great banter is using call-back humor…as you start saying jokes begin connecting them.
Move back and forth between funny, sexy and tension building banter to more serious questions and building a connection. If it’s too serious and nice then the attraction can be lost. If it’s too joky and tension driven then the other person may feel they don’t feel a connection or know you. Think push/pull or like a dance.
Conversation is an art that can be mastered. WHAT IS THE FASTEST WAY? Get the right mindset going on in your head and on your jokes, questions and body language will be aligned. Check out my free course on how to create the right mindset and boosting your confidence.
The closest we ever are to being who we truly are is the moment we are born. At that moment we are an empty, blank sheet of paper ready to get written on. We are just being but eventually, our true self starts to be covered up with layers and layers of conditioned thinking and reaction to experiences. It is a shocking moment to come out of our mother’s womb to a world of dependency. Inside we were just like grass, growing and being without any effort or strain, no conceptual image of anything until we are born and experience a world of needs and we start depending on someone to fulfill those needs.
This is where it all begins, becoming dependent on parents, society, religion, education systems, media, government, etc, and that’s only the beginning. More and more we are pushed away from who we really are, creating an experiential image of what we think we are that is created by the culture and the people around us. Eventually, we learn through conditioning, through pleasure and pain to react unconsciously towards situations, people and events without even knowing why we react to them as we do.
We were a blank sheet of paper learning from the external world and adapting to it, so we end up not fitting in and experiencing a life that we think we can’t change. We learn to separate ourselves from our inner self and learn to live a life completely governed by our external environment, situations, and conditions. We become curious about the world, wanting to know more about it with the idea that we are going to gain knowledge and figure out who we truly are. The reality is that we become more intrigued with the outer world and so lose ourselves in our thoughts, our experiences and float in the world controlled by it, in the direction others desire including institutions and the people that surround us.
Going without means fitting in, learning, adapting and becoming part of a bigger institution that has existed for longer than we can remember. It is the institution of society which is bigger than we think, but for the matter of keeping this short, I’ll only talk about the part of society that gives us our first concepts about the world, which is FAMILY. Family is defined by dictionaries as the unit of a group consisting of 2 adults and children. Like other mammals, we are pack animals, as we become dependent we also look for a place to fit into the family; provider, mother, offspring and nowadays even pets. Who decides where we fit in? How does it get decided and how is it decided how a family should work?
That’s where the bigger, much bigger picture of influence from society, culture, religion, and parents comes into play, especially our parents’ opinions about what a family should look like and who we should be.
Yes, we do have to learn to live in this life but we don’t have to get lost in the outer world. Everyone looks for answers and changes on the outside, but not many people take a look where the answers really lie: inside of us.
That is the place where you will truly find yourself and embody fulfillment.
When you stop to think of the issues or problems in your life realize that most people have similar or even the same issues as you do. Sure there are catastrophes like that passing of a loved that have a much larger impact on your life. However, most of the things you worry about are so common and on the grand scale of things, minuscule.
In my personal experience, I have worried and complained so much about things that later either didn’t matter or became an opportunity. Also, it would make me overlook a lot of amazing things that I already going for me in the search for something better. Those feelings of frustration left little room for any gratitude or joy. It was all about complaining and wanting, wanting.
I wanted to be free from having a job I hated, work on my own business and be my own boss.
I wanted to travel the world as I worked remotely.
I wanted to be more confident, especially in social situations and be more popular.
I wanted attractive women to like me and give me approval.
I also complained and felt of out control for not having those things as well as the confidence and social problems I had. I started as being as an introverted and shy person with social anxiety. I thought people could tell right away and would judge me (they prob had no idea 😛 ).
I would freeze up, would not know what in social situations from networking events, at work or just at parties. I didn’t like small talk or big groups. I wanted to socialize with smaller more intimate groups with similar values and interests to me to make conversations easier.
I thought the solution was getting more money or job success. Perhaps getting a hot girlfriend and being validated in that way. As I began to get some of the things I thought I needed to be validated, “confident” and fulfilled I found myself lost. I still felt unvalidated, had fear of rejection, and had a lot more to lose now.
As I began to live life from within rather than without, the more courageous I became. I started and built a business. Began attracting better partners, connections, friends, and situations. I built not only the right mindset but also I created the right habits & took massive action on my goals.
When I ask my clients and also friends what has had the biggest impact on improving themselves and their lives. They all mention deep introspection, having the right social environment (friends, mentors, coaches & colleagues) to model, and taking massive action in the right directions with empowering habits. It’s that simple.
Do you have productive habits, an uplifting social circle, and or an empowering mindset? Take an honest inventory of your life and note what areas of your life you wish to improve and at what level they are at when it comes to those three things.
Join my facebook community and gain access to the free 3-day free boot camp!
There is no one thing that all successful people have in common.
They don’t all go to a prestigious university (some don’t even go to college).
They’re not all born beautiful, fit or gorgeous.
And they don’t just inherit a ton of money right away.
They all have rock bottom moments. Perhaps, similar to what you are going through right now or in the past. It’s that time when everything seems to be falling apart, maybe the creditors are calling, money doesn’t seem to be coming, or you are feeling lonely and your dating life has not been working out.
Whatever the issue, at this moment you are faced with two decisions. Either collapse under pressure or step up to the plate and use this hopeless moment as a springboard to the next level. You will either choose to rise or fall further and avoid taking responsibility.
The fallers will continue to fall and avoid problems. They will find it harder and harder to get out of bed. Continue to make excuses and attract more negative situations. They cling to their stories why they can’t come up with a solution to their issues overlooking that their biggest problem is the negativity and limiting story.
What about the other group of people that rise to the challenge or rather an opportunity?
They may face the same problems however, they are solution and opportunity oriented. They find people who have figured things out, they get the expert advice…they start back up from the bottom, swallow their pride and if need be work from again the bottom up in order to achieve their dreams & create an impact in the world.
It’s about taking one small step at a time. This group is not necessarily happier especially in this situation but they don’t get crippled by uncertainty or these issues. It’s ok to be mad, sad and have these emotions but, keep moving forward.
If you are there right now I feel you…I’ve been there and I know that those moments will continue to arise in my life so I will continue to rise to meet those opportunities for growth. The point is to keep moving forward and elevating your energy and thoughts, your actions and habits.
It’s all about elevating your vibration and vibe. Go after whatever makes you happy especially if it scares you. Stop suffering in a steady, secure yet unfulfilling life. If you’ve taken a leap of faith then keep going and trust yourself, the process, as well as the type of impact you wish to have on the world, is worth it.
Know that every single one of the people you admire has used these times of desperation to ignited their fire and rise up.
If you are at such a low point in your dating, social or any part of your life, keep learning, keep improving yourself to attract the perfect partner. Trust me if you take on a perspective of seeing challenges as opportunities and learning you will get through and come out as an even greater person.
Decide if the situation you are in will make or break you, right now. Take the leap and begin taking massive action towards your dreams and goals!
You have requested your FREE course, you will get PART 1 of the course in your email shortly!Don't forget to check your spam folder just in case and mark the email as not spam to keep receiving the next parts to the course in your inbox.Talk to you soon!
