A couple of weeks ago I called to get the hours of a fantastic cafe in Longmont, Colorado and I connected so well with the owner, Todd Eichorn that we decided to do an interview. He invited for a wine tasting at his cafe, La Vita Bella Cafe. It’s a fun/casual interview getting to know a bit about the history of the cafe, a bit about Todd, and the awesome team.
I hope you enjoy it!!
In order to attract great people into your life whether for a relationship, friendship, or anything else there are certain practices to keep in mind. The first one is to have a strong vision of who this person is, your lifestyle, and what type of person you need to be. Second, it’s important to be able to wait for both for the right action, not rush and stay the course without giving up. The third and final practice is to be able to say no to what doesn’t match what you want in a relationship. That’s it. Sounds simple, yet it can have some profound effects.
Eye to Eye Contact is important for communication
Conversation is a part of communication, but so are non-verbal cues. One of the ways that we communicate the most is through “Eye Contact”. It is a body language skill that can help access someone’s feelings and communicate yours as well.
For example, looking a gorilla in the eye is seen as a challenge. If you lose that confrontation, the gorilla assumes that you’re weaker than it is, so it can proceed to fight you and rip you apart.
Looking down is not only a sign of submission from a social perspective it’s also an attempt to hide what we really think. When making eye contact, we not only look into the soul of the person in front of us, but they are also looking into ours. And some people don’t want to give away that sort of information
Moreover, eye contact is a powerful ingredient of communication. It allows you to deal with inner state of every individual and stands on your conversation. Having this strategy makes you feel deep on someone’s feeling. A heartfelt and trustworthy disseminating information as we define on this style.
That is why eye contact is so important and why it’s so important to work on your inner state to communicate powerfully with your eyes.
Have you ever met someone that perhaps wasn’t the most attractive person ever, but you could not take your eyes off of them? Couldn’t look away from their eyes as they locked eyes with you. Well, that was what I often call vibe and one of the most powerful ways to communicate it is through the eyes.
This article will show you how to make a great “eye contact” with a person making your communication powerful and effective.
They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. Make sure you have an empowering self-image. If you have any sort of insecurity and reframe that. I have other videos that I talk about that, write down 50 or 100 reasons why you’re amazing, sexy and incredible, etc.
List 50 or 100 reasons why you are amazing, incredible and worthy. This is another way to create a solid foundation for confidence.
In my opinion, eye contact is fundamental for a connection even with strangers that pass by. I make eye contact with a lot of random people in my regular day with women (it doesn’t mean I’m interested, it’s just a habit) and I have the same habit with men. In fact, there have been studies that show that prolonged eye-contact can actually generate a bond.
I often have fun playing my own game of locking eyes with strangers. I walk super carefree, relaxed and happy, then as I encounter someone I wait maybe until I’m 5 or so feet away from them and lock eyes with them. If you’re present enough and have the right mindset going you’ll be able to feel people who want to make eye contact. It’s similar to how people can tell when someone stares at them, it’s an energy thing.
Get in a great mood and to the point that your eyes smile as well. Often times people give that selfie smile that is just done for a pose and they’re really not smiling genuinely. It is shown in your eyes.
A bit of prolonged eye contact is good. It sets you as comfortable confident person and too much, well, it’s either creepy or a challenge.
How to best break eye contact?
I just make eye contact and smile, wave or just say hello. However, I rarely break eye-contact first. For me it’s a way to connect, establish respect, conveying that I’m comfortable with myself and with them.
In a conversation break gaze from time to time maybe after 5 or 10 seconds. These are rules of thumb that can be skipped if you get your inner mindset and vibe together.
In conversation or any type of situation where you make eye-contact if you wish to connect look into the person’s left eye. The left eye is controlled by the right hemisphere of the brain which is the more emotional non-analytical side. That is why people look to the top right when they are making up something or lying and to the left when they are recalling a memory.
As you do this you will be able to not only connect with a person better, but you will be able to see them more for who they are.
Learn how to move on to overcome a breakup or heartbreak
Are You Broken Hearted? Don’t worry, It is normal and it’s not your fault. A breakup or being brokenhearted is a part of a relationship with someone. We feel devastated, anxious and depressed. People around the globe are suffering from this all the time. It is common and you are not alone with this burden.
You will certainly experience pain and jealousy. The kind of pain when we get obsessed with someone you love focusing on all the good memories and denying any of their faults. Fixing a broken heart is essential to move on to another relationship or dating in a healthy way.
These four 4 methods will explain how to heal yourself and learn to alleviate the pain. It will give you the opportunity to be with others and not carry that pain onto the next person or manifest the same heartbreaks over and over.
Often times we want to distract ourselves in order to move on and prevent thinking about this person you’ve been with. Although, it’s not healthy to obsess it’s better to learn how to digest your emotions rather than distract yourself with drinking, food, TV, sex or things that don’t really deal with the root cause.
How can you use this experience to grow?
Analyze your thoughts and breakdown the “cocktail” of emotions, and thought patterns to end the cycle.
One of the origins of this pain is your mind thoughts. Having negative thoughts like regrets, guilt, idealization of this person, and denial are the massive barriers to move on and heal.
Felipe, the founder of Social Buddha Method and our main confidence coach mentions how the emotional roller coaster and over-analysis of a breakup are comparable to drugs. They can be addictive and they can cause adverse effects and create negative habits. It can lead also in being obsessed with someone as if will never find another one like this person. You’ll be filled with regret thinking that you could have done something better to remain in your relationship.
There are two ways to breakdown these emotions and thoughts to heal.
Write down everything you are idealizing about this person. On the other side of this piece of paper or another one, write down why they might have not been the best partner for you. Write down all the things that bothered you about them. Since we tend to idealize people we overlook that. This will help you move on, especially if you tear up the idealized list and review the list of what bothered you about them on a regular basis until you feel better.
Talk to someone you trust about what you’re going through and write down what you are telling yourself in its entirety. For an instance, some common thoughts may be lack self-worth, feeling like you did something wrong or there is something wrong with you, jealousy, thinking that they have another partner now, feeling betrayed and so common emotions will likely be anger, self-pity, grief, and loneliness.
Then similar to the exercise above, rewrite that story to tell yourself the opposite of what you wrote. Then tear up the previous story you are telling yourself. All in all, you are changing your thoughts into positive affirmations to motivate yourself so feel free to exaggerate the positive affirmations and then repeat them in front of the mirror daily for at least 30 days or until you feel confident. As you do this everything will become more clear and the healing will happen, FOR GOOD. It will be permanent and will affect how you deal with a breakup or a relationship in the future.
Many times in a relationship we tend to lose ourselves, our identity for someone else, and at some point, we may sacrifice our personal life. Start by hanging out with friends and making new ones, especially if you shared friends in your relationship. Make shifts in your life, in general,by finding some interesting things to do which you may enjoy and obtain your happiness from them.
This is when the magic happens in the process of healing and transformation. Build an empowering your routine that may include meditation, affirmations, gratitude and other healing methods. Check out my article and video on healing HERE.
Create a healthy lifestyle like exercising, a good diet and picking up new hobbies. Redirecting focus on yourself is also all about to forget your bad habits and replace them with empowering healthy ones.
It will be harder to heal yourself if you are continuing to chat with your ex and visiting their social media. This will many times obstruct the healing process your breakup.
Hope is very dangerous. In fact, it is the most addictive ingredient of this emotional “drug”. It will cause a person to delay healing keeping someone stuck for even years. So, move on.
Overcoming a heartbreak or a breakup will not only affect your dating and romantic life, but that level of healing will improve your life in general. It will make you feel more wholesome.
Emotional Healing and Self-Healing I Health
Is it hard to heal yourself? Why can’t you heal? You deserve happiness, peace, and a better life.
You have a right to live and to be happier, more loved and accepted. It is really crucial to imagine why you can’t heal yourself with negative emotions and being pessimistic in some ways. We want to let it go of our feelings which our burdens to make a gap in our relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. But this article will show you that you can let them go easily with very simple tools that you can use anywhere and anytime.
These tools help us to let go of feelings of resentment or guilt that we often carry with family, significant others and friends. You will be able to use them while you are driving, working, or doing any kind of activities.
Every day in our life we are dealing with problems and statements in our life. We are creating different feelings in various situations it is just like knowing and increasing your awareness of your emotions to manage it accordingly. Logically we are digging deep in our emotions as well said: “knowing your shadow”. As you bring awareness without the resistance of these emotions then they began to disappear.
You may be thinking right now that it is hard to get rid of those emotions. It is time-consuming or a long term healing and crucial for us to really break our attachment for those feelings. But, it is our choice and perseverance to be strongly confident to let them go. Some of us dealing with major traumas like divorce, severe depression, long term family problems, bereavement and etc.
The key to work these method is your willingness to experience your emotions.
In addition, asking yourself to welcome these feelings are really consistent to balance your emotions and can heal yourself anytime and anywhere which can reduce and totally eliminate bad emotions which affect your daily lifestyle and your health.
Here is a simple method which can radically change your life:
Did you know that questions can be the answers to your problems? This first method is all about asking the right questions. These questions act like pathways in the process of self-healing or emotional healing. Therefore, you will gain access within yourself to deal with the specific problems and emotions in order to let go of negative emotions successfully.
Here are the following questions which this method uses. Repeat these questions in this order over and over until you feel the emotions disappearing.
A few things to note is that you don’t have to identify what the emotion is exactly to let it go and also. The only answers for the following 3 questions will be either Yes, or No, and NOW for the final question. Keep your answers to the following questions simple no need to overthink and explain your answers.
Again, possible answers for this question and the next two questions is either YES or NO. Both of those answers bring awareness to the emotion and help you let go. Eventually, you will move into all YES and you’ll be letting the emotion go completely.
This method is originally Hawaiian traditional teaching. It became known from a therapist who helped rehabilitate dangerous patients using this simple tool. He began to see how this method healed his patients as he practiced it on himself and through daily repetition.
Are you ready to learn this method? It is simple. The method uses four statements that create a powerful transformation within yourself.
I am sorry
Please forgive me (this is about taking responsibility that a some level we cause what ever problem we perceive)
Thank you
I love you
This statement requires you to take 100% responsible for anything you have in life. Our pride sometimes obstructs us to heal our emotions effectively. It is powerful to build a new perspective accept that we are capable of creating anything and everything in our lives. So, as you say I’m sorry, you are healing what you have created which doesn’t serve you.
Many people say forgiveness is the hardest thing to do as a human being. Forgiveness is a powerful act to began to heal yourself and hence your reality.
You are always saying this world just an appreciation of someone or something you accept from others. This statement is about thanking for the forgiveness and healing that is happening.
Our main goal for self-healing is to be loved and to love as an origin of happiness and life. These are the most powerful word for me. It is not only for someone we love. This word is for all who deserve to love and to be loved.
What’s your biggest lesson from this article?
Let us make something better for our lives and continue to heal ourselves and our lives.
The closest we ever are to being who we truly are is the moment we are born. At that moment we are an empty, blank sheet of paper ready to get written on. We are just being but eventually, our true self starts to be covered up with layers and layers of conditioned thinking and reaction to experiences. It is a shocking moment to come out of our mother’s womb to a world of dependency. Inside we were just like grass, growing and being without any effort or strain, no conceptual image of anything until we are born and experience a world of needs and we start depending on someone to fulfill those needs.
This is where it all begins, becoming dependent on parents, society, religion, education systems, media, government, etc, and that’s only the beginning. More and more we are pushed away from who we really are, creating an experiential image of what we think we are that is created by the culture and the people around us. Eventually, we learn through conditioning, through pleasure and pain to react unconsciously towards situations, people and events without even knowing why we react to them as we do.
We were a blank sheet of paper learning from the external world and adapting to it, so we end up not fitting in and experiencing a life that we think we can’t change. We learn to separate ourselves from our inner self and learn to live a life completely governed by our external environment, situations, and conditions. We become curious about the world, wanting to know more about it with the idea that we are going to gain knowledge and figure out who we truly are. The reality is that we become more intrigued with the outer world and so lose ourselves in our thoughts, our experiences and float in the world controlled by it, in the direction others desire including institutions and the people that surround us.
Going without means fitting in, learning, adapting and becoming part of a bigger institution that has existed for longer than we can remember. It is the institution of society which is bigger than we think, but for the matter of keeping this short, I’ll only talk about the part of society that gives us our first concepts about the world, which is FAMILY. Family is defined by dictionaries as the unit of a group consisting of 2 adults and children. Like other mammals, we are pack animals, as we become dependent we also look for a place to fit into the family; provider, mother, offspring and nowadays even pets. Who decides where we fit in? How does it get decided and how is it decided how a family should work?
That’s where the bigger, much bigger picture of influence from society, culture, religion, and parents comes into play, especially our parents’ opinions about what a family should look like and who we should be.
Yes, we do have to learn to live in this life but we don’t have to get lost in the outer world. Everyone looks for answers and changes on the outside, but not many people take a look where the answers really lie: inside of us.
That is the place where you will truly find yourself and embody fulfillment.
Angelo
