Being anxious or scared of how people are going to react to what we say, do, how we act and who we are would be more justified if we actually knew the reason behind their reaction. Usually we don’t. Most of the time we have NO IDEA.
People have tons of shit going on in their life that has nothing to with us. Usually they also struggle with the same or worse social issues and prejudice as we do.
THEY might actually be nervous, shy, stressed or angry. Maybe they had a horrible day, got their car stolen, had family drama or got into a fight with their boss or a colleague. Maybe someone close to them got ill or passed away recently. Maybe they’re just introverted, or feel awkward because they haven’t showered in two days.
My point is, there is NO WAY to know any of this unless you can read minds (if you can, please email me immediately for strategic business opportunities). Keep this in mind, especially when meeting new people. They don’t know you so how could they be mad at you? 99% of the time there is something else involved if you get a ”bad” reaction from someone you just met.
I want you to drop your old programming and be open for a new way to look at it. How about this, bad reactions or ”rejections” are GREAT! They’re a fantastic opportunity for growth! Here’s why:
1. Every ”rejection” gives you the chance to examine the interaction, if you did or didn’t something you shouldn’t do and LEARN FROM IT.
2. You get to practice not caring how others react and what they think about you, which is invaluable. Thicker skin rarely hurts, be grateful for every opportunity. Note that this also applies to ”positive” reactions. Stay neutral.
3. The truth is that social skills are developed like any other skill, by training. You probably didn’t do it perfect the first time you tried riding a bike, or a horse. This is the same. In fact, you WILL have to go through several ”rejections” before getting to where you want to be. How many depends on your resistance to what we tell you and how fast you learn and implement the concepts.
Let me ask you this, if I held a gun to your head and told you to start a conversation with a group of strangers, would you do it? You would probably do WHATEVER IT TAKES to not freeze up, to feel the fear but do it anyway. So get out there and get it over with so you can move on with your life.
Remember, socializing is just a tool, a vehicle that will get you from A to B. If you want a Lamborghini you don’t just take the chassi and put it on a horse wagon and expect it to work. More on this soon, for now just invest in yourself, view it like a hobby or a scientific experiment or whatever it takes for you to take action and grow so you can lead the life you deserve! Not tomorrow, NOW!