Are you still thinking about what to say to start a conversation, or how you can keep a conversation going, and even having that confidence to be more social? The generation that we have right now, will pressure you to be social to be able to gain friends, learn new things or simply because you don’t want to be left behind.
Here is some strategy I can commend in using visualization to be more social :
1. Visualize your actions and visualize them being successful.
You may have that goal of talking successfully to 3, 5 or 10 new people per day but you end up failing. Don’t force yourself to be social, let it happen by having the right mindset of thinking success on it. See yourself greeting people, starting conversations and having them smiling and laughing with you. Visualize those actions, this will train your mind to be it and eventually you will see that goal happening.
2. Visualize success in specific situations or places where you wish to be social.
Focus on visualizing success in your daily activities, for example, you go to the gym daily, a coffee shop, work, or events. See yourself as the person who knows everyone and who talks or approaches people to brighten their day. Look at yourself the way you wanted people to see you, for them to do the same.
3. Visualize the specific types of people specially the one that intimidates you.
Conquer your biggest fear of being social. Be specific with the people you are most afraid to talk to. If you have that fear of talking to attractive, high status, wealthy people or to anyone, then visualize yourself speaking to them and see them liking and loving your presence. The more you visualize it, the more you will become comfortable. The mind can’t distinguish between what’s real or imagined, so it means that what you imagined to be happening is actually happening.
4. Visualize the kind of people in specific situations or places approaching you.
See yourself as a celebrity and owner of every place because everyone just loves hanging out with you, having coffee and conversations about life and anything under the sun. Those people you’re afraid of are approaching you and telling you how they are excited and happy to meet you. Be specific to your visualization regarding their actions and what they are saying because the more you are specific with it, the more powerful it will be.
Visualizing your goals to be more social and having affirmation on it on a day to day basis, will bring you to achieving positive results.
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To increase your confidence and emotional freedom does not mean that you do not feel anything anymore. It simply means that you break the cycle of being ruled by your emotions and fueling those with your thoughts. In this article, I will teach you a few steps on how to finally break old patterns of inner emotional drama.
This will help you with managing your internal state when you are being social, are dating, or are in a relationship of any kind. As you go through these tips realize also that people have their filters, traumas, and emotional baggage. In this sense, as you begin to take charge of your emotions, you can stop taking things personally when people are not their best selves.
1. Disidentify with your emotions to increase your confidence and emotional freedom.
Begin to label them as simply emotions and don’t make them personal. You may feel the emotion of sadness, rejection, anger, excitement, etc. but it’s not you, it’s a temporary feeling. The more you’re simple with the emotion rather than labeling yourself as the emotion like I’m sad or I’m angry etc. the faster you can let it go healthily.
If you are feeling despair or like you are hitting rock-bottom and don’t see a way out it is often useful to be aware that you are NOT your emotions, and you ARE NOT your thoughts. I talk about how to build confidence from a place of feeling like you’ve hit rock bottom in the article link above.
2. Bring attention to your breathing and your body to rule your emotions.
Breathing can be such a healing tool and so can body awareness, this will help not only move your attention away from thoughts that may arise and feed your emotions but also, bring you into the present moment. For example, if you are in pain or even in a positive emotion feel it… the more you feel it the more you begin to heal that emotion automatically. You will begin to be at peace and has less feeling of ups and downs.
3. Journal thoughts to take control of them.
Write out your thoughts and make them conscious to take control of them. These thoughts often fuel your emotions. I often recommend re-write them into positive if you wish to have transformation and not just a therapy session. Take charge of your emotions. Declare positive things to yourself every single day. This is part of healing the past. For more healing methods, CLICK HERE.
Want to learn more about how to improve your confidence and master your emotions?
When you stop to think of the issues or problems in your life realize that most people have similar or even the same issues as you do. Sure there are catastrophes like that passing of a loved that have a much larger impact on your life. However, most of the things you worry about are so common and on the grand scale of things, minuscule.
In my personal experience, I have worried and complained so much about things that later either didn’t matter or became an opportunity. Also, it would make me overlook a lot of amazing things that I already going for me in the search for something better. Those feelings of frustration left little room for any gratitude or joy. It was all about complaining and wanting, wanting.
I wanted to be free from having a job I hated, work on my own business and be my own boss.
I wanted to travel the world as I worked remotely.
I wanted to be more confident, especially in social situations and be more popular.
I wanted attractive women to like me and give me approval.
I also complained and felt of out control for not having those things as well as the confidence and social problems I had. I started as being as an introverted and shy person with social anxiety. I thought people could tell right away and would judge me (they prob had no idea 😛 ).
I would freeze up, would not know what in social situations from networking events, at work or just at parties. I didn’t like small talk or big groups. I wanted to socialize with smaller more intimate groups with similar values and interests to me to make conversations easier.
I thought the solution was getting more money or job success. Perhaps getting a hot girlfriend and being validated in that way. As I began to get some of the things I thought I needed to be validated, “confident” and fulfilled I found myself lost. I still felt unvalidated, had fear of rejection, and had a lot more to lose now.
As I began to live life from within rather than without, the more courageous I became. I started and built a business. Began attracting better partners, connections, friends, and situations. I built not only the right mindset but also I created the right habits & took massive action on my goals.
When I ask my clients and also friends what has had the biggest impact on improving themselves and their lives. They all mention deep introspection, having the right social environment (friends, mentors, coaches & colleagues) to model, and taking massive action in the right directions with empowering habits. It’s that simple.
Do you have productive habits, an uplifting social circle, and or an empowering mindset? Take an honest inventory of your life and note what areas of your life you wish to improve and at what level they are at when it comes to those three things.
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Interview with Sandro Dhonre – founder of People Magnet
Sandro is a lifestyle coach based in Holland. He specializes in body language and teaching men and women how to access and bring out their inner charisma. He has trained sales people to become more likeable and is currently working on a project to teach Hollywood actors/actresses how to project themselves.
Some of the topics covered:
* Practical body language
* How posture affects testosterone and confidence
* Integrity in relationships
* Needy vs non-needy behavior
and more…
If you want to get in touch with Sandro you can email him on
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