Connection | Journal | Social Buddha

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Everyone’s connected but no one is CONNECTING. We are too easily distracted. No matter what social environment we allow ourselves to get interrupted ALL THE TIME. Try to think of the last few times you spent time with someone who didn’t get a phone call, text or facebook message that he or she immediately “had” to respond to. Pretty rare, aren’t they?

Any attempts at multitasking are very poor time management, but when we’re talking human interactions there are other problems involved as well. It takes time to set up the rapport that allows for a deeper exchange with another person, and every time we get interrupted we have to start over FROM SCRATCH. With the frequency people keep getting distracted there are many who NEVER get to establish and experience any meaningful connection at all. And we wonder why we’re depressed, lonely and never feeling REALLY good (though that’s the point)…

Technology aside we often distract ourselves by being in our heads instead of being present in the conversation we’re having. I’m sure you’ve noticed this in some people, who are never actually “there” when you’re interacting with them. Same problem.

In a deeper perspective, even though we are all already connected it’s rare for two people to truly meet each other. As we move through life we usually don’t register much details about our environment – we draw the details from our stored memory as needed. The implication of this is that we notice just enough details about a person, object or situation so that the mind can fill in the rest, with information from our PAST, that doesn’t even exist.

As an experiment, try being TRULY present the next time you’re spending time with someone. Let go of any preconceived notions and opinions, ignore your phone, don’t let your mind drift aimlessly, be THERE! I guarantee you will feel better, have a much bigger impact, and you might even inspire the person(s) you’re with to do the same.

In the present there is only the present, and you’ll never develop any significant personal power, charisma and influence if you’re not even there.

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