Each of you has your own goals and dreams that you want to achieve and confidence has a great part in living without limits to become the person you want to be. Confidence is a conviction or a mindset that helps in managing family, work, social events, relationships, etc. It can be the difference between those who may fail or not try because they lack it, and those that have it who may succeed because of it regardless of their skills.
Having low confidence makes you demotivated to push on the things that need to be done because you are doubting yourself if you can do it. Your mind is battling with questions and doubt of whether you have the skills or not. Will I make it to the end? Is this the right choice or decision? Without confidence, goals, and dreams are not likely to be met.
Becoming your best requires determination, courage, and confidence in yourself. If you continue your journey of becoming the person you want to be, success is possible. Be motivated and take action because action brings results. Get out of your comfort zone, challenge yourself to still do things you are afraid of.
Recently Social Buddha Education hosted a Live LIMITLESS Seminar focused around confidence and courage. Guests learned to hack their mindset, create inner transformation and become limitless.
This seminar taught attendees to live a limitless life that not only makes them more effective but creates prosperity in every area of their life. They learned how to better achieve a state of alignment in whatever area of life their life they were focusing on. Check out the video below for a behind scenes look of the seminar and keep reading below for more tips on building confidence.
How to become the person you want to be :
1. Know your purpose.
Knowing your purpose is very important because it is your guide to accomplishing your goals and actions to be taken. Finding your purpose will make your experience having joy, peace, and fulfillment because you are happy and enjoying what you are doing. Explore the things you love to do and develop it. Check out Zen Habits’ article on confidence and pursuing your goals below.
As you fulfill or work on your goals, you will encounter challenges on the way. Challenging circumstancesare there to produce the person you want to become. It is not there to put you down but for you to learn, persevere and be prepared in accepting the blessing in the future out of all your hard work. Believe that something good is going to happen even in times of challenging situations. After you passed all that you’ve been through or when you are at the point wherein you are already living in your dream, looking back you will realize all that happened has a reason because it made you who you are at the moment.
3. Change the way you think.
Assess your thoughts on what direction is it leading you. Remove unhealthy thoughts and replace them with what is true, lovely, excellent and confidence in yourself. Be careful of what you feed in your mind because it is who you will become. If you improve the way you think, your whole life will improve too because your thoughts lead your attitudes and actions and shape who you are as a person. Our actions are a manifestation of our thoughts.
You are created with specific skills and capabilities. Don’t give up on yourself even if you failed before, go through past regrets or wrong decisions in the past. There are always second chances. Get up and focus again on knowing your purpose than work hard for it.
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Are you still thinking about what to say to start a conversation, or how you can keep a conversation going, and even having that confidence to be more social? The generation that we have right now, will pressure you to be social to be able to gain friends, learn new things or simply because you don’t want to be left behind.
Here is some strategy I can commend in using visualization to be more social :
1. Visualize your actions and visualize them being successful.
You may have that goal of talking successfully to 3, 5 or 10 new people per day but you end up failing. Don’t force yourself to be social, let it happen by having the right mindset of thinking success on it. See yourself greeting people, starting conversations and having them smiling and laughing with you. Visualize those actions, this will train your mind to be it and eventually you will see that goal happening.
2. Visualize success in specific situations or places where you wish to be social.
Focus on visualizing success in your daily activities, for example, you go to the gym daily, a coffee shop, work, or events. See yourself as the person who knows everyone and who talks or approaches people to brighten their day. Look at yourself the way you wanted people to see you, for them to do the same.
3. Visualize the specific types of people specially the one that intimidates you.
Conquer your biggest fear of being social. Be specific with the people you are most afraid to talk to. If you have that fear of talking to attractive, high status, wealthy people or to anyone, then visualize yourself speaking to them and see them liking and loving your presence. The more you visualize it, the more you will become comfortable. The mind can’t distinguish between what’s real or imagined, so it means that what you imagined to be happening is actually happening.
4. Visualize the kind of people in specific situations or places approaching you.
See yourself as a celebrity and owner of every place because everyone just loves hanging out with you, having coffee and conversations about life and anything under the sun. Those people you’re afraid of are approaching you and telling you how they are excited and happy to meet you. Be specific to your visualization regarding their actions and what they are saying because the more you are specific with it, the more powerful it will be.
Visualizing your goals to be more social and having affirmation on it on a day to day basis, will bring you to achieving positive results.
For more tips on how to improve your social skills join our email list below!
To increase your confidence and emotional freedom does not mean that you do not feel anything anymore. It simply means that you break the cycle of being ruled by your emotions and fueling those with your thoughts. In this article, I will teach you a few steps on how to finally break old patterns of inner emotional drama.
This will help you with managing your internal state when you are being social, are dating, or are in a relationship of any kind. As you go through these tips realize also that people have their filters, traumas, and emotional baggage. In this sense, as you begin to take charge of your emotions, you can stop taking things personally when people are not their best selves.
1. Disidentify with your emotions to increase your confidence and emotional freedom.
Begin to label them as simply emotions and don’t make them personal. You may feel the emotion of sadness, rejection, anger, excitement, etc. but it’s not you, it’s a temporary feeling. The more you’re simple with the emotion rather than labeling yourself as the emotion like I’m sad or I’m angry etc. the faster you can let it go healthily.
If you are feeling despair or like you are hitting rock-bottom and don’t see a way out it is often useful to be aware that you are NOT your emotions, and you ARE NOT your thoughts. I talk about how to build confidence from a place of feeling like you’ve hit rock bottom in the article link above.
2. Bring attention to your breathing and your body to rule your emotions.
Breathing can be such a healing tool and so can body awareness, this will help not only move your attention away from thoughts that may arise and feed your emotions but also, bring you into the present moment. For example, if you are in pain or even in a positive emotion feel it… the more you feel it the more you begin to heal that emotion automatically. You will begin to be at peace and has less feeling of ups and downs.
3. Journal thoughts to take control of them.
Write out your thoughts and make them conscious to take control of them. These thoughts often fuel your emotions. I often recommend re-write them into positive if you wish to have transformation and not just a therapy session. Take charge of your emotions. Declare positive things to yourself every single day. This is part of healing the past. For more healing methods, CLICK HERE.
Want to learn more about how to improve your confidence and master your emotions?
Have you ever wished that you could to talk to strangers or simply have a great conversation on a date? I’m going to reveal my ultimate two secrets for being an amazing conversationalist. My two secrets are being a great interviewer and the art of banter.
1. MAKE THE CONVERSATION ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON.
The way to do this is to stop multitasking, BE PRESENT and listen with the intent to understand.
How do can you get motivated to engage people in a conversation? Realize that I’m about to learn a lot and understand that they probably know something you don’t or might give me great insight into something you’ve been looking for. Be curious about people, who they are, and what they know.
I used run wine tours and would spend 4-6 hours with people “tasting” quite a bit of wine. Let me tell you by the end of the tour I would come out fascinated because first many times they were very different from my initial impression of them and second by their knowledge and experiences. It was like reading a book times 10. Everyone has so much gold to share…all you have to do is have curiosity and listen.
Ask Questions and genuinely be interested. I’m sure you’ve been with someone that seemed boring etc. Most of the time it’s because the person is only talking about something THEY are interested in, about themselves, OR they just simply didn’t take the time to understand you first.
DON’T DO THAT. First, listen to be listened to. Remember, everyone’s favorite topic is themselves and well, their favorite topics. If anything, I’ll be giving a few tips on how to direct a conversation into something you are both interested in. And towards the end, I will be sharing some banter, and tips on being more witty, so that it doesn’t become a boring conversation of deep/serious topics.
A fun conversation has depth, insight, and humor…and in my opinion sexy banter. At the end of this video, I talk about how to have sexy banter….as well as how everything ties together into a work of art, ALMOST 😉
2. MOVE THE CONVERSATION TO A DEEPER LEVEL.
Use open-ended questions and talk about topics you are passionate about. For example, I’m into Lucid Dreaming, soccer, travel, etc., very passionate about it. So, if I see that they are genuinely interested in any of that I will go deep into that topic and connect through that, plus it will just be more fun than the typical small talk. So, know who you are and what you’re about and drive the conversation to that to see if you find commonalities in your passions.
Test for your values and what you are looking for. If you are just casually dating this might not be as important, but if you’re looking for something more, then test for your criteria. For example, for me I love a woman who is kind, humorous (sometimes it’s hard to find), driven and interested in personal development and travel.
So if they’re job, passions or what they talk about points to that then I’ll be more interested.
*Go with the flow. Let go of the need to say something or being distracted by a topic you wanted to talk about so you stop listening. Maybe you think of a clever question, comment or story…let it go and just go with the flow.
3. HAVE A CONFIDENT MINDSET.
Feel like you are the most interesting, and sexiest person ever. That is what will communicate in your energy, eyes and body language. Assume they will love you. Meet up just to have fun and be genuinely interested in learning about that person that is in front of you.
Sexy Banter & Sparking Attraction: Sprinkle this element don’t pour it on.
Playfully antagonize the person you are with. For example, you might tell them they have something on their face and make them clean it up. This is done with a solid face until you break it and let them know you’re joking. Things like that.
Double entendre or setting a sexual funny undertone.
This is all about delivery, finesse and practice. Notice words such as. Also, it’s about playfully accusing the other person that they are being a bit sexually mischievous.
Words you can misinterpret could be:
Dirty (sexual)
Slowly, quick or Fast (thrusting speed or length of sex)
Suck (blow job or cunnilingus)
Blow (blow job or cunnilingus)
Do it (sex)
Put it somewhere (sex or penetration)
Anything that can be misinterpreted I often ask: “Is that code?”
Meaning code for something sexual.
In a funny suspicious way.
Have a funny answer to all the common questions.
What do you do?
Where are you from?
Etc.
Again, no need to overdo the sexy humor, but sprinkle it in. Also, you must not be looking for any type of response when it comes to this. When I banter in this way…many times I don’t even look at the person, I deliver the joke…Part of being witty and having great banter is using call-back humor…as you start saying jokes begin connecting them.
Move back and forth between funny, sexy and tension building banter to more serious questions and building a connection. If it’s too serious and nice then the attraction can be lost. If it’s too joky and tension driven then the other person may feel they don’t feel a connection or know you. Think push/pull or like a dance.
Conversation is an art that can be mastered. WHAT IS THE FASTEST WAY? Get the right mindset going on in your head and on your jokes, questions and body language will be aligned. Check out my free course on how to create the right mindset and boosting your confidence.
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