What is loneliness? Loneliness is the unhappiness that is felt by someone, or unpleasant emotional response to isolation. There is research that says, those who spend the most time on social media have a higher rate of loneliness or depression compared to those who spent the least time. Because of what you see on social media you tend to mirror it or make it as the standard of the life that you should have which moves you to ignore and not realizing the true treasure which is love that you already have from your family, friends, etc.
A recent study by YouGov reveals that men are much more likely to lead a more solitary life than women, with fewer friends they call close or best friends. Part of this has to do with facing their vulnerability alone. A drink at a bar for example for men with friends likely won’t lead to a heart to heart conversation. Being competitive is okay but don’t compare your achievements because it creates a barrier in connecting to others, know that each one of you has the right time in achieving your goals.
Another aspect that causes loneliness is that you are not in the habit of recognizing the love you already have in your lives. As they say, you don’t know what you already have until you lose it, why? because your mind rules your lives and you don’t notice the connections you share with those closest to you, connections you need to appreciate. That includes the love from your kids, your parents, siblings, friends, co-workers and so on. Even when you are in a relationship, sometimes you still feel lonely because you forgot to appreciate the blessing that you have or you’re still trying to find something better. Make it a habit to notice and appreciate the affection that is already there that you tend to overlook.
Consider these suggestions to overcome loneliness :
1. Learn to let go of past hurts.
When you feel lonely, it’s because a memory has triggered that feeling. It may be your pain in the past that is unhealed. Prefer to let go about the past and something that cannot be changed. Making that decision of letting it go also means that you are accepting the choice to let it go. This is empowering knowing that it is your choice to hold on to the pain or to have a future life without it.
2. Make gratitude a constant practice.
This is a powerful emotion that can make your life better in so many ways. It is difficult to be lonely when you are full of gratitude. Just like material abundance, not only you will feel loved when you are grateful for people, but that’s also the way you can attract the right things into your life. Let gratitude be a part of your every day.
3. Connect in real life.
Connecting in real life may not be the norm nowadays. With social media, Netflix, or our phones taking a lot of your time and attention makes you physically disconnected to others. Engaging in face-to-face social interaction helps improve our mood and reduces feelings of loneliness. Limit yourself from social media and prioritize in-person interaction and connection.
4. Reach out for support.
Be courageous and open up to those closest to you. Getting support gives you a different outlook that can help you put things in their rightful place. When you decided to reach out for support, be honest even if it’s uncomfortable to express how you’re feeling.
Every time you feel lonely, remember that you are not alone and that somebody there are most willing to talk and listen to you. Life is short to be consumed on suffering from loneliness. Heal the wounds caused by your past. Learn to love and accept yourself. Think of your blessings and the people who truly care for you.
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To increase your confidence and emotional freedom does not mean that you do not feel anything anymore. It simply means that you break the cycle of being ruled by your emotions and fueling those with your thoughts. In this article, I will teach you a few steps on how to finally break old patterns of inner emotional drama.
This will help you with managing your internal state when you are being social, are dating, or are in a relationship of any kind. As you go through these tips realize also that people have their filters, traumas, and emotional baggage. In this sense, as you begin to take charge of your emotions, you can stop taking things personally when people are not their best selves.
1. Disidentify with your emotions to increase your confidence and emotional freedom.
Begin to label them as simply emotions and don’t make them personal. You may feel the emotion of sadness, rejection, anger, excitement, etc. but it’s not you, it’s a temporary feeling. The more you’re simple with the emotion rather than labeling yourself as the emotion like I’m sad or I’m angry etc. the faster you can let it go healthily.
If you are feeling despair or like you are hitting rock-bottom and don’t see a way out it is often useful to be aware that you are NOT your emotions, and you ARE NOT your thoughts. I talk about how to build confidence from a place of feeling like you’ve hit rock bottom in the article link above.
2. Bring attention to your breathing and your body to rule your emotions.
Breathing can be such a healing tool and so can body awareness, this will help not only move your attention away from thoughts that may arise and feed your emotions but also, bring you into the present moment. For example, if you are in pain or even in a positive emotion feel it… the more you feel it the more you begin to heal that emotion automatically. You will begin to be at peace and has less feeling of ups and downs.
3. Journal thoughts to take control of them.
Write out your thoughts and make them conscious to take control of them. These thoughts often fuel your emotions. I often recommend re-write them into positive if you wish to have transformation and not just a therapy session. Take charge of your emotions. Declare positive things to yourself every single day. This is part of healing the past. For more healing methods, CLICK HERE.
Want to learn more about how to improve your confidence and master your emotions?
Empowering emotions to take action – For most of us taking action comes hard, especially with the things we’re “supposed” to do that would create the life we want. Many of the excuses come in the form of fearful thoughts and emotions. Such as “what if this doesn’t work?”, “what if I look like a fool doing it?” and many others.
So, you might be asking yourself, what’s the key that differentiates someone who constantly takes action. Regardless of the fears and doubts. It is easy to impose some supernatural traits to the people who are constantly moving forward. Making things happen. The truth is, it all comes down to habits. Both internal and external ones. One important habit that will propel you forward is reframing. The focus here being reframing your emotions.
It is very important that you relax into your discomfort when it comes to change, the unknown and anything that creates the emotion of fear or stress. Also, it is fundamental that you not only relax into these emotions but use them to empower you. How? Change your perspective about them.
Instead of the usual story you tell yourself about fear, stress and how overwhelmed you feel – tell yourself a different story that empowers you. It could be something like “I’m always moving forward and using all my challenges as opportunities. I love challenging my potential every day by taking action towards my goals as my fear turns to excitement and my doubt to confidence. I love it!” Basically, these emotions that you experience are just chemical reactions in your body; they are not fear, doubt or anger etc. You have just been taught to label them this way. This very moment is the time to choose to label your emotions another way and adapt an empowering perspective that moves you into action. You can change the way you see anger and so many other emotions that have been destructive to you in your past, in order to bring peace into it. Anger can for example be a teacher to help you learn tolerance and acceptance. Again, it is up to you how you choose the meaning of your emotions but make sure they’re bringing happiness, love and success into your life!
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