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How to Overcome Loneliness

How to Overcome Loneliness

What is loneliness? Loneliness is the unhappiness that is felt by someone, or unpleasant emotional response to isolation. There is research that says, those who spend the most time on social media have a higher rate of loneliness or depression compared to those who spent the least time. Because of what you see on social media you tend to mirror it or make it as the standard of the life that you should have which moves you to ignore and not realizing the true treasure which is love that you already have from your family, friends, etc.

A recent study by YouGov reveals that men are much more likely to lead a more solitary life than women, with fewer friends they call close or best friends. Part of this has to do with facing their vulnerability alone. A drink at a bar for example for men with friends likely won’t lead to a heart to heart conversation. Being competitive is okay but don’t compare your achievements because it creates a barrier in connecting to others, know that each one of you has the right time in achieving your goals.

Another aspect that causes loneliness is that you are not in the habit of recognizing the love you already have in your lives. As they say, you don’t know what you already have until you lose it, why? because your mind rules your lives and you don’t notice the connections you share with those closest to you, connections you need to appreciate. That includes the love from your kids, your parents, siblings, friends, co-workers and so on. Even when you are in a relationship, sometimes you still feel lonely because you forgot to appreciate the blessing that you have or you’re still trying to find something better. Make it a habit to notice and appreciate the affection that is already there that you tend to overlook.

Consider these suggestions to overcome loneliness :

1. Learn to let go of past hurts.

When you feel lonely, it’s because a memory has triggered that feeling. It may be your pain in the past that is unhealed. Prefer to let go about the past and something that cannot be changed. Making that decision of letting it go also means that you are accepting the choice to let it go. This is empowering knowing that it is your choice to hold on to the pain or to have a future life without it.

2. Make gratitude a constant practice.

This is a powerful emotion that can make your life better in so many ways. It is difficult to be lonely when you are full of gratitude. Just like material abundance, not only you will feel loved when you are grateful for people, but that’s also the way you can attract the right things into your life. Let gratitude be a part of your every day.

3. Connect in real life.

Connecting in real life may not be the norm nowadays. With social media, Netflix, or our phones taking a lot of your time and attention makes you physically disconnected to others. Engaging in face-to-face social interaction helps improve our mood and reduces feelings of loneliness. Limit yourself from social media and prioritize in-person interaction and connection.

4. Reach out for support.

Be courageous and open up to those closest to you. Getting support gives you a different outlook that can help you put things in their rightful place. When you decided to reach out for support, be honest even if it’s uncomfortable to express how you’re feeling.

Every time you feel lonely, remember that you are not alone and that somebody there are most willing to talk and listen to you. Life is short to be consumed on suffering from loneliness. Heal the wounds caused by your past. Learn to love and accept yourself. Think of your blessings and the people who truly care for you.

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Connection

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Everyone’s connected but no one is CONNECTING. We are too easily distracted. No matter what social environment we allow ourselves to get interrupted ALL THE TIME. Try to think of the last few times you spent time with someone who didn’t get a phone call, text or facebook message that he or she immediately “had” to respond to. Pretty rare, aren’t they?

Any attempts at multitasking are very poor time management, but when we’re talking human interactions there are other problems involved as well. It takes time to set up the rapport that allows for a deeper exchange with another person, and every time we get interrupted we have to start over FROM SCRATCH. With the frequency people keep getting distracted there are many who NEVER get to establish and experience any meaningful connection at all. And we wonder why we’re depressed, lonely and never feeling REALLY good (though that’s the point)…

Technology aside we often distract ourselves by being in our heads instead of being present in the conversation we’re having. I’m sure you’ve noticed this in some people, who are never actually “there” when you’re interacting with them. Same problem.

In a deeper perspective, even though we are all already connected it’s rare for two people to truly meet each other. As we move through life we usually don’t register much details about our environment – we draw the details from our stored memory as needed. The implication of this is that we notice just enough details about a person, object or situation so that the mind can fill in the rest, with information from our PAST, that doesn’t even exist.

As an experiment, try being TRULY present the next time you’re spending time with someone. Let go of any preconceived notions and opinions, ignore your phone, don’t let your mind drift aimlessly, be THERE! I guarantee you will feel better, have a much bigger impact, and you might even inspire the person(s) you’re with to do the same.

In the present there is only the present, and you’ll never develop any significant personal power, charisma and influence if you’re not even there.

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