Are there deep emotions that you not aware of that are ruling your life? For example resentment, scarcity, fear, traumas, shame and so on, that you’re confidence and self-esteem is affected because of those emotions? You may have spent a lot of time and money just to get rid of these. Perhaps you are even doing affirmations and positive thinking and are wondering why it isn’t still working. The reason why is because although you are shifting your surface-level mindset, emotions, and beliefs, you are missing shifting the tectonic plates of your mind, the parts that carry your traumas and deep-seated emotions.
In the video below, I want to go over some of the top emotions to let go to conquer core self – confidence and self – esteem. This will shift not only how you feel, but raise your vibration, hence shifting how people and situations react to you. As you make it a daily practice for 30 or more days everyday surface level emotions won’t bother you as much.
Here are 7 things to let go of to build Confidence and Self – Esteem :
1. Let go of fear.
Fear can hold you back in living the life of your dreams. Fear feels uncomfortable, you are robbing yourself of the chance to experience the deep satisfaction which comes with listening to your heart and soul and creating a better life full of passion and purpose. Conquering this will enable you to face all other fears with another perspective and confidence.
2. Let go of guilt.
Release any guilt or self-hate you currently have. Many times you act out of not knowing the consequences of your actions or sometimes you act based on your current emotion which sometimes leads you to have regrets or guilt of the outcome. Forgive yourself for the things you have done to yourself and others. You can’t go back and change the past but you can change your future by not committing the same offense over and over again.
3. Let go of shame.
A part of the experience of shame is the fear of being found out and exposed. You want to run and hide and protect yourselves from exposure to other people’s judgment. Let go of any shame, insecurity you may have physically or about your personality, the shame of being not stable financially, shame of how you present yourself socially and so on. Anytime shame surfaces, there is an opportunity to experience a healing of the experiences and beliefs that have fed the shame.
4. Let go of loneliness and grief.
At times in your life, have you felt that you were all alone? This feeling describes the emotion of loneliness. Other words people use to describe loneliness include feeling empty, isolated, excluded or left out. You can feel lonely when you are physically alone and you can also feel it in the presence of others. Grief is the feeling of loss many times. When you are at your peak on this emotion, realize or think the abundance of love you have in your life at the moment and let go of any feeling of emptiness, loss, and regrets on the people that are no longer in your life because of a failed relationship. Accept and treasure the moments you spent together and appreciate the space that has opened up for new love to show up.
5. Let go of self-deception.
Self-Deception is rooted in your thinking, and visible in your activities. If you look at it in reverse what you do, or how you act is, in reality, is a product of your belief. If you have been deceived and are thinking wrong as a result of that deception, then you need to adjust, reset, and refocus areas of your thinking that have been subjected to deception. Replacing them with truth, and ultimately seeing the conformation in your actions. Embrace your truth on who you are and what you care about. Clear your inner vision through meditation and let go of the illusion that is in your thoughts. This will essentially boost your confidence as you realize your oneness with all, you have nothing to fear.
6. Let go of resentment.
This is something you need to do for your peace of mind and to improve your relationship with others. Don’t get stuck blaming others for your unhappiness. Even when others have done wrong, you’re called upon to examine your hearts and to respond to others in love. Any hate you have towards others will cripple your self-confidence. Forgive others it is the best gift you can give to yourself because when you forgive you are freeing yourself to not allow anyone or anything from the past to bind you in your current actions. Hurt people hurt others so, begin to develop empathy for them to heal that resentment.
7. Let go of desire and attachment.
The less emotionally attached you are to the outcome the more carefree and confident you will be. Learning how to move past the things that hold you back is an important step in reclaiming the life that has been designed just for you. What happened in the past doesn’t have to define who you are today.
Learning how to believe in yourself will open up endless possibilities in your life. At times you may find this difficult to do. The truth is that we’ve been conditioned throughout our lives to doubt ourselves. We must retrain ourselves to get rid of our fears and self-doubt to build self – confidence and self – esteem.
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Going through a spiritual awakening is the most isolating, loneliest, confusing, bothering but a beautiful experience in life. Without experiencing a spiritual awakening, you go pursuing things with emptiness which you thought you will find happiness and satisfaction on it. Spiritual awakening happens at the least expected time. You can’t plan it. It rolls and shakes your life. But the outcome or purpose of it comes at the time you most needed it.
Spiritual awakening happens after realization or seeing the actual meaning of life. It is the natural product of one’s maturity. Just like other things in life grows, so too your connection to your souls. It’s similar to maturing from youthful years to adulthood with growing pains, sadness, and new discoveries.
The following are some tips to help you recognize the various emotions you may be experiencing:
1. You question everything in life.
You will start to look into what you’ve been taught from your childhood to believe. During this time you begin also questioning yourself why are you here on earth? What’s your purpose? Why are you not still successful in your goal? This can feel isolating but be ready for your questions as you investigate, research and fall into your truth.
2. You lose interest in material things.
You become aware and prioritizes your needs more than your wants. What matters to you now are the things that last for a lifetime. You desire for inner joy and spending more time on people that are important to you like your family, close friends, spiritual family, etc. You’re learning to live each day with gratitude.
3. You feel compassionate.
You have that feeling of empathy or sympathy towards a person in need. You put other people’s needs above yours. You tend to listen first before speaking because you make sure that you are aware of how you sound, convey the message, and the impact of your words will cause. Everything you do in life is linked through a cause and effect system. By doing good to others you receive positivity and contentment.
4. You have Increased Inner Peace.
You don’t mind being alone. You feel comfortable going to the mall alone doing some shopping, eating alone, traveling and even watching a movie alone. You are happy and secure being alone. You have that calm and peaceful joy, an experience that everything is alright because you know whom to put your trust.
Spiritual awakening creates a no turning back point in your lives. There’s no way to return to the old you. Thoughts are more clear and the mind has opened on true awareness. Doubts, worries, problems that are occupying in mind are gone. Despite experiencing emotions, you are not affected by them anymore since you are already filled with love, kindness, and compassion for all humanity. You’re ready for new opportunities to meditate on with a peaceful heart.
In this Interview with Justine Luzzi, we talk about what the signs of spiritual awakening are, how meditation and other tools can help, and how it relates to your everyday life.
We also discuss what benefits an awakening like this can have in your social, dating and overall life. Stay tuned for more interviews like this with other experts!!
Belief is the psychological state in which an individual holds a proposition or premise to be true.
(c. ^ Schwitzgebel, Eric (2006), “Belief”, in Zalta, Edward, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Stanford, CA: The Metaphysics Research Lab, retrieved 2008-09-19)
You believe something when you take a concept, a proposition as truth. Truth is a very individual concept. Think about something that you see as true without a doubt. Now why is what you are thinking true? Because you saw it, experienced it? Because then it is real?
“If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then ‘real’ is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.” Think again! Why is something true and why not? It is a DECISION. You decide if you believe something or not. You decide if it is true or not. That’s it.
You also decide if the opposite is false. If you think something is true then the opposite of this truth must be false. For example, if you think that all rich people are evil you discard everything that is contrary to this belief. The opposite – that all rich people are good people – becomes false.
Now, after making this decision you automatically begin to collect evidence for that particular belief. You start bending situations, filter information and tune your senses according to your beliefs. If you hold the truth that all rich people are evil, even when you meet a rich person who is a charitable, giving person you probably focus on the negative character traits of this person or you find another way to discard the objective fact that this person also has positive good qualities.
So imagine this: When you get programmed by society with beliefs that are not serving you but instead keep you under control and make you a good consumer, how on earth can you be successful and follow your dream? You are collecting any evidence you can find to hold on to those beliefs and every day you are exposed to words and images that cement this programming into your brain.
You discard every possibility that those beliefs are false because most of the time you’re not even aware of them, let alone this process of social brainwashing. You are asleep, a working drone, programmed to do nothing else than consume and be a good sheep in the masses. Interestingly enough basically every innovation was criticized at first, and the people who came up with new concepts and inventions were called crazy. I call them awake. They were the only ones that were living and not sleep walking.
Beliefs are very powerful. If you are following the self development world you probably heard a lot about changing beliefs and affirmations & visualizations. And as a matter of fact, it works. Affirmations work, no doubt about that because you are already using them. Affirmations in that sense are statements about yourself that you believe are true. For example, if you think you are a clumsy person, it is an affirmation. You hold this image of yourself as the absolute truth and even when you do things in a very elegant way you reject this evidence as false.
But often affirmations don’t work the way they’re taught in most of the self-help books out there. So why is that? You’ve been told to do affirmations like this: Stand in front of the mirror and say something like: I am successful etc. Now this could change your results and self image for a certain period of time BUT it will not be effortless and long term.
Why not? Because you have certain CORE beliefs that contradict those affirmations. For example, a core belief could be that all rich people are bad people.
Now if you want to be financially successful and you affirm to yourself that you have loads of money, in the back of your mind you are sabotaging yourself because you would then become a bad person. Your concept of the world is holding you back and destroying the chance of a lasting change. I figured out a three step process of changing your core beliefs. It can be very challenging because you have to challenge your ingrained world views, your understanding of reality and yourself. So if you are not ready for this I would suggest you stop reading now, because it can be a very challenging process and you have to be brutally honest with yourself.
Still reading?
Good! Let’s get started!
Identifying your Core Beliefs
The process is very easy and simple just like most things that work in life.
Now sit back and answer the following questions:
What part of your life is not working?
Got it?
Good!
What do you belief about …?
For example: What do you belief about money?
Now be honest and write EVERYTHING that comes to your mind!
Got it?
Excellent!
Now start with the first sentence you wrote down and ask yourself:
Why do you belief that?
Write your answer down! Then again ask yourself the question about the answer.
Why do you belief that?
Continue this process until you can’t find an answer anymore. The answer will probably be: Because I heard it in the media/learned it from my parents/because someone told me that!
Congratulations! Now you have your Core Belief.
I will go on to step 2 but I will show you in a later example how this process works in detail!
This is a step only a few people talk about but which is very crucial. You have to DOUBT your Core Beliefs first before you install a new one. Imagine you learned about affirmations and tried to change your belief about “the earth is flat”. Now until you absolutely believe that this statement is false you will never adopt the new belief “the earth is spherical”.
You have to change the way you look at things, you have to change your PARADIGM of thinking! Now I have some questions for you that will help you doubt your Paradigms/Core Beliefs about the world:
Is the Statement 100% true?
If it’s true, is this statement helpful?
What is this statement in service of?
How might my life be different if I didn’t hold on to this statement?
Write the answers to those questions down!
Now let’s go step deeper. In the previous chapters I talked a lot about the matrix so now ask yourself the following questions:
Why does someone want you to believe that?
Who is benefiting from you believing that?
When the answer is NOT YOU then you have a very problematic worldview. Let’s take the belief from above: “All rich people are bad people”. This doesn’t serve you at all. It helps installing an aversion against wealth and wealthy people. That way your behavior becomes predictable. You probably never will try to get very wealthy. You will keep complaining about the rich people and you will be a worker bee all your life.
On top of that you have other core beliefs that contradict with this one. For example: “Money makes people happy”. Now you got to conflicting beliefs that keep you drawn and averted towards wealth and money and keep you stuck, under control and predictable. This realization helps you to drop the belief instantly. You can see its falsehood and finally you can see the matrix and how it controls you. When you finally see how society constructed our world for us you can drop your illusions and stop looking at the dancing shadows. You are aware now and can start building your own truths and your own worldview that is not intended to control you.
Now you can change those Paradigms and here is how:
You identified your core beliefs and saw the falsehood of them. Now it is time to change them. You can do two things here:
Write down the opposite of the false core belief
Or write down a more useful belief
For example: “All rich people are evil”
Opposite: “All rich people are good and giving persons”
More useful: “Money enhances your unique personality”
I personally prefer the opposite but this is up to you!
Write down every negative/false core belief you have on a piece of paper and write down the reason why society wants you to belief that right next to it. I recommend you start with one area of your life and stick with that for 30 days. Now write down your empowering core belief on another paper!
Now you have to form a habit! EVERY DAY when you wake up and right before you go to bed you takes out the two sheets in front of the mirror. You start with the negative belief list and realize the falsehood of those beliefs and now you start telling yourself out LOUD:
The truth is….
Fact is….
Your empowering beliefs!
For example:
“All rich people are bad people”
Keeps you under control, predictable, a good consumer
The truth is: “All rich people are good people and help other people”
Now can you see how you are destroying your old negative programming and installing a new empowering one at the same time?
I hope so! The key is to do this consistently! You have to do this EVERY DAY! You have to convince yourself that the new Paradigm is the absolute truth and when you do I guarantee your world changes.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer
Hope that helps!
Daniel
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